Up the ante?
by SylvieT
Summary: Post 9 08. My take on how the conversation with Catherine ended. What's he upping the ante for? Spoilers if you've not seen the epi.


Third one in my series of conversations Grissom has with his friends about his future with CSI. Each story can be read independently from the others and will only spoil things if you've not watched any of season 9. Please read and review as I'm very new at this, I'll appreciate any kind of constructive criticism!

Thanks.

"Yeah, maybe it's time to up the ante." He said with a casual shrug of his shoulders turning round slightly to look at Catherine. Work family? That made Grissom think a moment, he could see the irony in that, if that's all he had, he wanted more and he was going to go and get it.

"What do you mean by that? I didn't take you for a betting man."

"Well you know, I quite fancy my odds this time…"

"What are you talking about, Gil, you've lost me there."

"I think it's time for me to do something else, to take a bet on the girl rather than the science for once." He said rather enigmatically.

Catherine stopped abruptly, grabbed his arm and turned him round to take a better look at him, in the process getting bumped by another couple who were walking behind them. But it didn't matter. Had she heard him right? Were they talking about the same thing?

"Are you thinking of leaving the lab?" She asked rather innocently…she still could not fathom the alternative. Gil Grissom was a predictable man if anything and he'd never been very savvy about women.

"Thinking? No. Thought about it? Yeah, a great deal for a while now and it's time for me to move on. I once told Warrick that I was a teacher without any students anymore but truth be told, I've felt this way for quite some time now. I think it's time I did something else, somewhere else. It's the right time to leave CSI."

"But leaving, that sounds so final. The lab's your life. What would you do?"

Grissom pondered that for a while and resumed walking. She quickly fell back in step with him linking arms with him. It had been far too long since the last time they had gone out together socially, she would miss him very much if indeed he was serious about leaving.

"The lab _was_ my life, Cath, now it's not enough any more."

"You're sure about that?" She was taken aback by his revelation. Sure she couldn't say she hadn't noticed he'd lost his enjoyment, enthusiasm for it all; that the last year had been a struggle, it had been hard for all of them; she'd put it down to losing Warrick and Sara's departure. Lately, he had looked so much better and for the last few weeks, he almost acted like his old self, he seemed happier. She had assumed he'd got over the worst of his pain as they all had.

Grissom nodded his head silently looking straight ahead in the distance. It was a nice night and they had almost reached their destination. He had always liked nighttimes in Vegas, maybe because he was used to them and he looked around thinking that he didn't have many more nights like these left to enjoy in Vegas.

"So you're thinking that maybe you want to go back to teaching?"

"Maybe, I don't know, I haven't got that far yet. But I've come to realise that I'm 52 and life's short. Warrick's reminded me of that and with Sara gone for good, I've been lonely… even with you all there, no disrespect."

Catherine was about to protest but she knew what he meant. She had her mom and Lindsey to go home to. Who did he have? Then she knew for sure, she could hear it in his voice, it was carefree, younger and full of hope. It had taken him long enough to realise it and he was finally doing something about it. Who would have thought, he had got his head out of the microscope after all these years.

"You know where she is? She asked more pointedly.

"Sorry?"

"Sara, you know where she is?" She was fed up pussy-footing round him; after all she was famous for her bluntness.

He smiled. "No, not exactly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, just that. She's been at sea. Gone on a trip to the Pacific, that's the last I heard from her."

"So, you've not spoken to her, shared your plans…" This was more said as a statement than a question. "Are you going to go to her?" _Like you should have done the first time she left, _she thought to herself. He was not ready then but by the sound of it, he was now, he indeed seemed more at peace with himself.

"Yeah, I've e-mail her a couple of times, I haven't got any replies but I figure she probably hasn't got them if she's still at sea. I'll take my chance."

"Good for you, Gil, you should have done it a long time ago."

He carried on walking lost in his thoughts and then said: "Did I ever tell you that I got engaged once?"

"What, when you were in second grade? When you gave away your grandmother's ring and your mum made you get it back?" The whole lab knew about that. Doc Robbins hadn't been able to keep that a secret for very long!

That got another smile from him. "No, not then, more recently. That moment, when she smiled and accepted was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I want to get that back."

Catherine was left speechless for once. This man still had the power to amaze her. "I didn't think you had it in you. When? After Warrick died?"

"No, sadly not. Although I don't think it would have made a difference then. No, before Sara left the first time…" He again got lost in his thoughts but there was however one more thing he needed to share with her tonight.

"Catherine, you know… well, my letter's typed, ready to give to Ecklie. I'm going to recommend you for the supervisor role and Nicky can be your deputy" and expecting to be interrupted then, he quickly added, "I'm sure he'll serve you as well as you did me."

"Thank you, this means a lot to me." She said stopping once again in order to pull him into a tight hug and to kiss his cheek. "I'm going to miss you."

"Don't sound so surprised, you deserve it." He replied returning the hug. They separated again resuming their slow wander. She remained silent now; it was her turn to be engrossed in her thoughts so he continued: "Of course, I'll work my month's notice but then I'm off, no regrets. Never doubt, never look back, remember?"

She did. "It's like that, hey? You're going to just up and go?"

"Well, you know me, once my mind's made up… but I'll be back some day…" His decision had been made and he felt good about it like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. When had his work become such a burden?

"Catherine, can you not tell the guys anything yet, not until it's official?"

"Of course" she smiled. "Thanks for trusting me with this, Gil. I'm happy for you, for both of you."

He gently put his hand on the back of Catherine's back and slowly guided her towards the entrance of the restaurant where they were meeting the rest of the team. Brass was at the bar ordering drinks, the rest of the team having found a table slightly to the side. He had enjoyed working with all of them and he loved them all, his work family.


End file.
